why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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