This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
