I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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