do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
