Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
