I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
