May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize