God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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