I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Non-Jews are for practice
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
