RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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