all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
