i permit you to call me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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