dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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