there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
