After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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