Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
