watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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