watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
