Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
