there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
