So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
