i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
