the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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