Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
