There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
