finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
