Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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