I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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