my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
