Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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