I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
