It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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