i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
