i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
