He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
