I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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