i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
