Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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