everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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