we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
