cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
