Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
