I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
