# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
