I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
