They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
