So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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