Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
