There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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