I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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