I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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