five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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