I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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