Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
