I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
