I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was a trapeze. enough said
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
