i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
