Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
