Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
