do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
