Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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