how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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